Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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