So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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