People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
