do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
