It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
