I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
