we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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