in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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