I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
