wat bout pragnant strippers??
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
