your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
