so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
