I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
