did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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