I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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