Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize