Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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