So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
