I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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