Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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