Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
