The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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