At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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