i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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