Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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