I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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