batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
