Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
