ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
