You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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