my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
