after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
