Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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