Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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