Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
