Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
