Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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