i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
