rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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