I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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