I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
