I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
