I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
