what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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