You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
