i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
