after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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