Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
