I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
