he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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